He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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