i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
