Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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