and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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