So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
