I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
As shirtless as possible
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
