Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
