i just wanna soil my oats bro
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
