I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
