And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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