What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if only i could text you this smell
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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