i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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