It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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