mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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