covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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