how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
