Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
