That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Are we still banned from the library?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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