Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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