Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
