I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Your cock deserves a montage
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
