I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
