fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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