Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
