Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
