yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I need water and some morals
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
