WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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