he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
