Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I need moral support for this bender
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
