"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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