...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
