Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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