Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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