Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
