Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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