You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
