people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
