She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
