hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
