I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize