When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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