he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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