I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
