turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
