I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
