We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your penis caused this!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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