i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
