Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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