the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize