when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
