Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dicks are not precious.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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