you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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