Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
