I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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