I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize