Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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