i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
