Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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