Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
